a different form / by Britta Badour

white everywhere
not necessarily a white room but a devastating amount of whiteness
as if one had lost their sight for the first time
but the essence of time is stripped
all she knows
is that she is absolutely abandoned and alone
Life left her
she can’t go back to how good she got it
she screams in utter pain
agonized by the grief of not seeing her husband-to-be ever again
to not hold him while he sleeps with his head in her chest
to not be made to smile when she feels like shit
to not have any ounce of the romance they had shared together
making flowers out of the world’s wounded backs 

This depresses her
She tries to cut bleed burn - anything she’s used to doing
when things don’t go her way
but she doesn’t understand that she’s not a body
she’s not a nobody either she just doesn't have a body to complete her
she’s taken on a different form